Monday, February 24, 2014

If I Ever Lose My Faith In You


Interesting article and thread on NPR’s website today, discussing when it’s OK to bail on a once-beloved-yet-now-sucky artist and how to deal with the guilt that may arise from abandoning them. From the comments, some people view this as a silly, absurd topic. To them, music is simply another commodity in the marketplace, where no one owes anyone else any loyalty and emotion is irrelevant. One party creates the art and another consumes it, or does not, as the case may be.

At first I completely disagreed. Music is highly personal and intimate. It becomes closely affiliated with so many areas of our lives, providing the soundtrack to so much daily activity, that to disregard it as merely another commodity to be bought and sold is naïve and misguided. If you truly believe that’s all music represents, I pity you.

But then I got to thinking…

I used to be fiercely loyal to certain bands and artists, in part because I am a very loyal person by nature, but also because I used music as a way to self-identify with certain groups or tribes. By liking (or loving, or hating) a certain performer, I was setting myself apart from the rest of the crowd who was into something else. These are My Artists – those are Yours. It’s a tribal mentality that trickles down from sports fandom into music; it doesn’t translate quite as neatly to literature or film or other art forms, perhaps because bands are more relatable to us as fans than individual works of art. [Although I can get just as possessive and defensive about individual albums…but I digress.]

Case in point: I was a big Police/Sting fan throughout the 80s and 90s. Saw Sting on the Soul Cages tour in 1991 and he was tremendous. Sadly, I never got to see the Police live during their heyday – I did catch them a few years ago, but only after the wind had left their sales (pun intended) and they embarked on a lame cashing-in reunion tour (Vowels Across America 2008 – “Eeeee-AAAAAA-Oohhhhh!”) But I bought everything he/they released, always liking it and often loving it. I was totally on board for Punk Sting, Rock Sting, Ballad Sting, Jazz Sting, even Olde English Folk Sting.

But I recall thinking at the end of the 90s, after tolerating his mediocre Mercury Falling, when the Desert Rose, Sting-in-a-Jaguar ad was all over TV, that maybe I didn’t want to keep this latest Sting CD I’d purchased. It was a revolutionary thought to me, somewhat disturbing and rather sad. I had always been a fan, I had always purchased everything he released, I would always continue to purchase everything he released because it would always continue to be worthwhile, and this would always continue for the duration of our lives. Right? I really thought about my musical library in those terms; it was just anathema to think about bailing out on one of my stalwarts. Like U2 or R.E.M., Sting was central among the core group of My Artists – these were my tribal leaders, and we were bound together for the long haul. I just assumed it was a lifelong relationship I’d committed to, much like a marriage – and you don’t bail on a marriage just because things get a little rocky. Or even soft rock-y.

The thing is, Sting and I were never married. There’s no partnership here, it’s purely a one-sided relationship – and in that sense, the free-market puritans are correct. I’m the fan, he’s the artist, and while I want to be supportive, sometimes artists produce crap art. Even good artists. Even My Artists. Musicians go through phases of highly creative levels of output only to be followed by periods of creative drought, and just because you were around during the good times doesn’t obligate you to stick it out for the lousy stuff. This all seems fairly obvious now and a little silly to spell out in detail, but the first time it really hit home was when Sting dropped the turdburger that was Brand New Day (two decent songs out of ten). This was not the first time I’d been disappointed with an album – I’d been selling unwanted CDs for years. Before iTunes and the return of the single as a viable format, I was as frustrated as anyone else when forced to purchase 14 track albums with 12 songs of filler. So while I’d been painfully disappointed with an album before, rarely was it by one of My Artists.

After I accepted the notion that I wasn’t committed to purchase and retain every Sting release from now until one of us dies, it was both liberating and depressing. What had been a perfunctory, fairly rote mechanism (it’s Tuesday: check new releases, scan for familiar names, purchase familiar names, listen, assess happiness level relative to previous releases) was forever transformed. I now had to decide which records made the cut, which ones were worthy enough to pass the velvet ropes and enter the hallowed halls of my collection. Discernment takes effort and focus and a desire for greatness. When you take your collection seriously, when you entertain vague, foolish notions of future generations discovering this immaculately curated time capsule of music after you’re gone and appreciating the lengths to which you went to acquire each essential item, you view it as more museum than library. Is displaying the finest examples of a particular genre or artist more valuable in the long term than an obsession to document each and every iteration of an artist’s journey? I suppose either direction could be a worthy endeavor as a record collector. But there came a time when I had to pick one path or the other, and while most of my income in the 90s went into that wall of CDs, I reached the point where I just couldn’t afford to collect them all.

As a collector with deeply rooted completist tendencies, it’s like an irritant under the skin to know there are albums by My Artists that exist but which I do not possess. So once I relinquished the unspoken but deeply-held belief that all of My Artists are great, legendary, and historically relevant musicians worthy of complete catalogue documentation (because, you know, they’re My Artists) and accepted that they are, in fact, capable of releasing utter dreck as well as works of genius? That was a sad moment. On the one hand it’s liberating to know I’m not obligated to follow each and every flight of artistic whimsy they may pursue, but it’s mostly disappointing – and there’s a little bit of pride involved as well. The common fears of sports fandom trickle down into music fandom. You worry that perhaps you erred by picking the wrong team, siding with the inferior artist who isn’t as historic and legendary as you once portrayed them to be, casting your lot with a fallible tribe comprised of mere mortals and not rock gods. In both endeavors (rooting for a sports team and passionately following an artist), I think that’s where part of the desire for greatness enters in: you want to back a winner, not just because it’s fun but because you want to be proven correct, for your faith to be rewarded. You don’t want get to the end only to discover you wasted your life on something unworthy. You want what you’re rooting for, what you’re passionate about, to actually matter. Ultimately what you really want is to live beyond your years – so if you can’t live forever, at least the thing you loved will survive you.

The NPR discussion doesn’t address the larger question of why so many artists inevitably lose their muse. I suspect aging and the erosion of passion by the inexorable passage of time has a lot to do with it.  Or it could be that some artists only have one great record in them, despite oodles of potential. (Looking at you, Pete Yorn.) To be explored in another post…

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